Struggles....

Some days I wish people could see into my brain and know how I'm really feeling. I wish I had the courage to say the things I truly want to say, and the inner strength to not let people's words affect me in any way at all. That whole, "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!!!" saying seems to be much more affective when you can scream it out loud like a little child, too bad we have to be adults.

On a day like today, my world has been great! The sun was shining, it was warm, my hair worked out great, work was fairly great, I got a good letter in the mail, I tried Yogurt Stop for the first time and LOVED it, had a great time with the family, saw some marvelous friends; all in all it's been a wonderful and phenomenal day! Why then, at the end of it, do I feel empty, lonely, and hurt?! With all this optimistical (yes, I think I made up that word) events going on in life, shouldn't I be on a whimisical high?! On days like today, you'd think that I wouldn't be able to stop smiling and laughing and being thrilled with life!

Something's missing right now, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough! I need the Sabbath to bring me closer to the Lord and to put me in the mindset to figure this out. For tonight, I'll lay on my bed listening to showtunes and stare at the ceiling, it seems to help somehow.....