A Dream Deferred!

My brother is on his mission right now and due to some health problems, he spends a lot of time studying and writing his thoughts! He shared this protion of an essay that he wrote recently, and it really affected me, so I decided to share it! It is in relation to missionaries sort of, but I think it applies to everyone! (Sorry it's kind of raw and unedited, I didn't do much to it but type it up!)

A Dream Deferred

By: Ryan Barker

     One thing I've noticed as I've associated with more and more missionaries is that they all have "what if?" scenarios that they constantly entertain. 'What if I'd held her hand?' 'What if I'd had the guts to pursue her?' 'What if I'd taken that job?' 'What if I'd chosen the other University?' 'What if?.....' What if: The list goes on and on, each missionary has at least one; all are things that the missionary has dwelt on his entire mission; all of which are scenarios which he's day-dreamed about; creating in his mind the perfect endings that could have been.

     But time flows in one direction, never stopping, never turning from its course. They can't turn the clock back and make their lives better, they can't live that life that may have been. Most misisonaries realize this, and as a result their dreams change. They undergo a process described in 'A Dream Deferred' (A poem written by Langston Hughes) a process which is further illustrated by, 'A Raisin in the Sun' (I can't remember who wrote it.)--A play which derives its name from the last line in Hughes' poem.

     In his poem, Huges compares our dreams to grapes, which, if deferred--put off or unrealized--will age and slowly turn to raisins. These new raisin dreams lack the juice of the original grape, but still bring pleasure and enjoyment. This process of transformation from grape to raisin is detailed in the aforementioned play and indeed, Hughes is correct that dreams change and evolve as they go unrealized.

     Every Elder I've talked to has a plan of how they intend to make up for "lost time" (a term that I could rant about for a while, but I won't) once they get back from their missions. They'll apply for that job, they'll look that girl up on facebook. With each of these plans comes the new dream, a derivative of the old dream, but changed by the time it went unrealized. These dreams are always detailed and always have the perfect ending; a six figure salary, that girl from high school becomes their wife, yes, always the perfect ending.

     Yes, Hughes is correct when he asserts that dreams change over time, but he is incorrect in his assessment of how dreams change. They don't dry up and become healthy snacks, rather, they are crushed and the juice ferments and becomes wine. This figurative wine made of dreams affects men in much the same manner as real wine does. When drunk, it produces a pleasant sensation which leads the drinker to desire more wine so that the sensation might continue. The partaker becomes addicted, making use of every opportunity to inbib this wine, he spends his time alone in a drunkenb stupor rather than socializing with others. He becomes lazy and unmotivated, perfecting the perfect image in his mind over real, material success. He only works and interacts with others in order to obtain the means by which he may purchase more wine. He goes about his day drunk, becoming calloused and uncaring, he eschews contact with friends, family and strangers alike because their relationships don't bring as much pleasure to him as the ones he dreams of; the fictious relationships which he is sure will one day become real. Ironically, he is creating more wine as he goes along and misses out on experiences that could have been rewarding had he been paying enough attention to act on. Instead he goes on drinking wasting his life. In fine, all his dreaming accomplishes is the creation of more "what if?" situations, creating a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle from which it is difficult to escape.

     In order to avoid stumbling into this trap, we should avoid fixating on the past, learn from the "what if," but don't dwell on it. So you regret a missed opportunity? The the next time a similar opportunity arises, take it, don't fixate on what might have been. If you do, you paralyze yourself, preventying further progression. Now don't get me wrong, dreams can be wonderful things that inspire us to act and drive us to great heights. Just look at what Martin Luther King Jr. was able to do with his dream. But his accomplishments came because he acted on his dream, it became his lifelong goal to see that dream realized.

     So, the key to turning our dreams into powerful tools of progressions is this: let your dreams also be your goals, don't jsut think about what you want, try to get it. A wise man (whose name I currently can't remember) once said that the difference between dreams and goals is this; you act in order to make your goals reality. Dreams are merely pleasant "what if's?" that you can't act upon, that can't become reality. So, let us realize our dreams and act on them while they are still fresh grapes. If they begin to ferment, then let us throw them out by ceasing to dwell upon them.

     Live your life in such a manner that there is not possibility that wine will form. Eat all of your grapes and leave none behind. Remember, reality is something you can share, it is tangible, it is more enjoyable, more rewarding and more healthy than the wine of fiction. Let us all eliminate the "what if's?" in our lives. Once we do, the quality of the reality of which we live will improve.