Listen for Answers

This story is kind of random, I found it on dearelder.com when I was bored one day after writing to my brother, but the message in the middle about answers to prayer was really good! It kind of fits my life sometimes and gave me a new perspective on things, so I decided to share!

I never actually sent a Dear John, my story is more complicated than that. Before my missionary left we had talked marriage, but I didn't feel comfortable being engaged. I was crazy in love with him and told him that, but I was also young and felt that I wasn't ready to make that decision. I told him I would write him and that we should just wait to see how things turned out between us.

I did date after he left (and told him that I would), but every guy didn't hold a candle to him. Each guy I went out with was told from the beginning that I was waiting for a missionary and that I planned to serve a mission myself so we could never be more than friends. I chose to never date anyone exclusively, and I had a lot of friends. My second year at Ricks College (the second year of Steve's mission), I met a wonderful friend. On Valentines day, he told me that one day he would propose. I looked him in the eyes and said that if he ever brought up marriage again, I would never speak to him. I had plans for my life and he was not in those plans. I had a missionary and was planning to go myself. My friend backed way off; we continued our friendship, but it really ate at me that he had siad this. I looked at him a lot closer and saw that he was a great guy, but I still had my committments. I even started praying, "Heavenly Father, I know Alma is a great guy, but I don't want to marry him. I want to marry Steve and I want to go on a mission." I didn't even realize that I was praying about this, it was just something that I told the Lord on a daily basis.

Then my life took a dive. I was frustrated about everything, I was confused about everything and I couldn't focus on anything. Finally I wrote my missionary about it and said something like, "You are going to be home in a little more than a month. When you get home you will have to visit me in the funny farm because I am going nuts. I don't even know what is going on. I am frustrated and I don't know what I am frustrated about; I am confused and I don't know what I am confused about; I can't focus on anything, I am going nuts." He wrote back and said, "You have just described a stupor of thought. You are obviously praying about something, the Lord is telling you "no," and you are not listening." I sat there in my room at Ricks College, staring at the letter and cried. He had no idea what he was telling me. I was desperate to feel pleace in my life again so I prayed to the Lord that if Alma was the right person for me, I would marry him. Immediately I was drenched in peace, everything was clear. I became engaged a week later, but I felt stupid writing my missionary off 2 weeks before he got home, so I waited.

I tried to keep the engagement a secret so I could tell Steve in person. When he came home he didn't call. I waited and no phone call; for over a week I waited and I knew he was in town. I thought he must have found out, so I called him and asked him to come over. He was acting so weird, really uncomfortable. I told him he was engaged and he said, "I'm so relieved! I was so worried that you were going to want to be serious not that I am home and I don't want that." We laughed and talked. So, in a weird way, he wrote himself off. I never told him that it was his letter that helped me decide, that he helped me to see what the Lord was trying to tell me. I have been married for 26 years now and am so grateful that the Lord showed me, through my missionary, who would be the best person for me.